When God Moves

Ever been standing in a room and felt the spirit of the Lord move all around you? Well, I did this past weekend as we had our Women's Retreat, "Clinging To God's Promises," and what a great time we had! God moved and needs were met. Our praise and worship was led by Matt Treherne from New Life Baptist Church in Brent, Alabama and it was amazing. It is so funny how God works. I had not shared with Matt the theme for the weekend, however God led him to the songs that went just perfect with our theme. The words that we sang were never more true than they were this weekend.

Our first speaker, Ginger Jacks from Montgomery, had an amazing testimony how God can and will get you through some of the darkest days you could ever image going through. She lost her daughter to a car accident at the young age of 18 years old. Her daughter, Virginia, was so full of life and in love with Jesus. She shared some things Virginia had written just weeks before her passing. They were so inspiring to others and such comfort to this grieving mother. One thing I remember Ginger sharing was when they had to tell their youngest son that Virginia had been killed. She said that he looked at her and asked, "When Virginia was born, did God know then when she would die?" WOW! Our Lord and Savior knows everything about us. I think it is amazing that He allows us the opportunity to live here on this earth and all He really asks is that we be a witness for Him. Is your light shining?

I put my friend Alison Cottingham on the spot and asked her to share her testimony of how God had moved in her life. At the age of 3, Alison's little girl, Carys was diagnosed with a Wilms Tumor. She talked about how God had been preparing her for that diagnosis and the road they would travel as a family for a long time. I can't help but wonder what He is preparing me for? How does God want to use me? Will I be ready? Praise God! He healed Carys and she is now a healthy 7 year old...a sassy 7 year old if you ask her mama. It is amazing to see prayers be answered. Some are the way we want, some are not. You see, Alison, lost her father to cancer at the early age of 40. She has been on both sides of this disease. She has seen God heal and restore and she has seen Him call his children home. Lessons were learned when she lost her dad that helped her face Carys's illness. Lessons were learned throughout Carys's illness and treatment that she will carry with her forever.

Our last speaker of Saturday was my amazing friend Jamie Cagle. Jamie is 34 years old and is fighting a very aggressive form of cancer. She has 8 tumors in her liver and her options are few. Throughout Jamie's testimony, she shared how God had planted "special people" in her life to help her through this trying time. You never know whose life you have been placed in to be a guiding stone from time to time...whether it be a listening ear, a car rider for a medical trip, a hand holder or a prayer warrior. Are you asking for God to show you where He wants to use you to help others? Her message to us was not to take one moment for granted. To live each moment for the moment because you don't know what the next holds. Jamie is a fighter and I have no doubt that God was smiling down on her this past weekend. She gives Him the glory for each day. Please join me in praying for this dear friend. She is fighting a battle where the odds are stacked against her, however she BELIEVES that God will heal! She is praying for a miracle! Will you join us in this petition?

Hearing women cry out to Jesus to meet their needs, physical, emotional and spiritual is like nothing else. To be in a room where you are able to feel vulnerable enough share your hurts, your hearts desires and your tears is a powerful thing. The prayers of God fearing women is amazing. To know that you have sisters in Christ lifting you up is an overwhelming feeling. God has called us to lift one another up, to love one another and just simply be there for one another. This weekend, new relationships were formed and I know there were some mighty prayer warriors praying. God has heard our cries and I can not wait to see how we choose to move. No matter where you are, no matter what you are going through, He is a God of forever. He designed and created you to be you...just the way you are. He wants to be the one you turn to, He wants to dry your tears and take away your hurt. Oh how He loves you!

Until next time...

When life hands you lemons...Give them to Jesus!

Man! What a roller coaster ride it has been over the past 2 weeks. The headaches returned and medication had to be adjusted and adjusted again. I was rather saddened over the increase in the Diamox for I know that coming off of that is the only way James and I can move forward with having another baby. God knows what He is doing...we just have to trust in Him. I guess my heart was not fully doing that since the headaches began after being taken off of one and reducing the other medication. Knowing and doing are two different things. Maybe we are entitled to be 'upset' for a day or two until we can come to grips with the fact that there are worse things out there. I am sure God understands.

This past weekend was really tough. I had a headache the entire weekend and nothing was a remedy. It would be nice if these pesky things were like normal headaches and an Aleve, some chocolate or a nap would fix it, but nothing does. The pain behind my eye was so bad on Saturday, I told James it would feel better just to pop my eyeball out with a fork...sorry for the details! That sounds pretty gross doesn't it?!

Sunday came and as my eyes opened, I remember thinking, "Is it there?" YEP! The headache was there! Most of the day it was just a dull pain behind my eyes. These headaches this past weekend were different than the others, they lasted pretty much all day. Typically, they would be gone by lunchtime. I had too much to do to have a lasting headache! An awesome day of Sanctity of Life at church that I did not want to miss, an interview for a summer babysitter (she is awesome by the way!), meetings and then a seminar. Too much to do to be down with a headache. God gave me the strength to get up and get going! Life can't stop because of a pain- no matter how much we want it to for a while-we must carry on!

Yesterday morning James reminded me to call Dr. V and let him know that the increase in Diamox and no migraine medication was not working. I called and spoke with Dr. V (may I just interject that I LOVE it that when I call, I speak to him...not his nurse, not an assistant, but HIM! God knew that I needed for this man to treat this disorder. He had a plan!) and he was on board with us decreasing the Diamox to 250 mg/day and adding the migraine medication again. This was a medication combination that we have not tried yet and guess who woke up this morning WITHOUT a headache...that's right! I did! I am not going to put too many eggs in my basket just yet, but this may be the right dose for me for now. Thank you Lord!

I am so thankful that I have a doctor who will listen when I call and say something has to change, for a staff who makes sure that he knows I have called and works to get him to the phone as soon as possible, for this medication and even though we have to play with it from time to time, it works, for my family who cares enough to pray for me daily, for my church family who loves me and wants to see me healed and medicine free and for James who puts up with me when I don't feel good and somehow knows when to call "just to check on me." God is so good and He never ceases to amaze me! My new motto is going to be "When life hands you lemons (and you know everyone's does) GIVE THEM TO JESUS!" He wants them. He knows what we need way better than we do! He wants to see us happy and pain free and oh how he loves us!

Until next time...

Even if but for a short while...

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint."

I've had to go back, read my last post and pray over the words that flowed from my heart. A couple of hours after I posted yesterday, my medication dose was increased back to 500mg/day due to headaches. I had put off calling the dr. thinking that the headaches were just my body trying to adjust...wishful thinking! When I spoke with Dr. V he told me I had two choices. 1)Go back to the migraine pill at night (which made me grumpy) or 2)Increase the Diamox back to 500 mg each night. I feel like I can tell a difference in my mood since coming off of the migraine medication, so I chose the Diamox (not happy about it, though!).

I am sad to report that I woke up with a headache again this morning. Maybe the increased Diamox is not what I need...who knows?! This is all a trial and error case I guess and we have to play with it until we have the right combination.

Everyone is telling me that it could be worse and I know that in my heart-these small setbacks just don't make me a happy girl!

I guess today's prayer request is that I will be able to see the bigger picture and stop focusing on the here and now. God has a plan, I just must be patient enough to allow it to unfold. I have to remember that He holds me in His hand and oh how He loves me!

Until next time...

There is always a silver lining...

Sorry it has been so long since I've updated. Last Tuesday, James and I traveled to Birmingham to meet with Dr. Vaphiades for my first re-check since being placed on my medication. For some reason, I was very nervous about this visit! I don't know if it was because I was afraid the scales would not give me credit for losing the weight (15 lbs!!), if it was because it was my first visit back or if secretly I really wanted good news-like getting to come off my medication! Before we left, I had already decided that at least a decrease in the meds would be a good thing!

They called us in and asked some questions, then off to the scales we went. The first scales gave me a number I was not so pleased with, so the nurse took me to the set where I had first weighed back in October! Much to my pleasing, those scales read much better!! We then were off to see Dr. V! He came in and gave me a good look over and said that my eyes looked good. He noted that the swelling of my optic nerves has gone down!! YEA!!!! He commented on my weight and told me to keep up the good work! He then looked at me and asked: "Would you like to come off some of your medication?" Well, hello! That is a no brainer! This girl wants a baby and needs to be off the meds for that to happen! With a huge, I mean HUGE smile on my face, I said "Yes, Sir!"

We talked about the migraine medication I was taking at night and I told him I thought I could do without it. I really feel like it had changed my mood for the worst and it may be best that we not continue with that. He agreed and told me he was comfortable with me decreasing my Diamox to 250 mg at night (from 500 mg). This made for one happy girl! I don't know how much I heard after this point! I do not have to go back until May. What a relief! I have 4 more months to get more of this weight off and pray over these optic nerves!! God will continue to move and work-in His time!

Sweet James treated me to dinner afterwards and then to Target! Fun date time with the hubs!

It is so hard NOT to see how God has had His hand in all of this from the beginning. He allows little curves in our paths to deter us from time to time. Maybe we need to gain sight of His plan and realize that our way is not the best way. Little bumps in the road only heighten our dependency on Him. They cause us to grow in ways that we may never had before. He pulls us closer to Him and teaches us to lean on Him for all of our needs. Then, He helps us to see the people He has placed here on earth just for us! I must say He has blessed me with the most amazing family, friends and prayer warriors ever! All because He loves me so! Oh how He loves me. He continues to show His love for me every day. I don't always stop to realize it, but the love is always there. My God is amazing and His mercies are new every day. My prayer is that everyone is able to see the silver lining in their situations and circumstances. That silver lining is Jesus. He is the good when there seems to be no good. He is the love that helps us endure. He is the everlasting protector that has our best interest at heart.

Our Women's Ministry is preparing for our annual Women's Retreat. This year, the theme is "Clinging To God's Promises." We must do that each and every day. Cling to his promise of love and mercy! Cling to Him!

Prayer Requests:
1. Please remember my friend Jamie Cagle. She is fighting cancer and needs a lift from the Lord daily. She is in her 30s and facing tough decisions. Her faith is strong and she knows that God is still working miracles. She is waiting patiently for hers. Her husband Brandon is a rock, but I can't imagine the toll this has taken on him. She has 2 girls who she adores and her parents still she her as "their little girl." Please lift them up with me!
2. Please continue to pray that the weight will come off. This seems to be the trick to "fixing my head!" haha If that is even possible!! :) My appetite is better some days than others, however my taste buds have not returned to normal. This could be a good thing. Since my favorite things don't taste as good as they once did, it makes it a lot easier not to eat the things that are not so good for me. I still have not had a soda since October. Some days (most days) a Mt. Dew sure would taste good!! I am learning to adjust!
3. Please continue to pray that the headaches, as mild as they may be some days, will stay away. It is frustrating to have these pesky things that will not seem to go away some days-no matter the amount of Aleve that I take and I don't want to have to call the Dr. Going back to an increased amount of medication is not what we want. I am learning that what we want may not always be what God sees that we need.
4. Please join me in praying for our Women's Retreat. God is all over this and He has prepared a wonderful weekend of spiritual renewing for us! He is ready to meet us. Please pray that our hearts and minds will be ready to receive him. Please pray for our speakers and for those who will be attending. Let's cover this weekend in prayer together. We will join together January 27-28. I can't wait to share with you what took place!

Until next time...

Almost A New Year!

WOW! Can you believe that 2011 is almost behind us? Where in the world did the time go? It seems the older I get, the quicker time goes by. As I sit and think about the year gone by, I have so much to be thankful for (in no particular order): (1)James and I have been blessed with the most amazing little man (even though we may want to ring his neck sometimes)! His desire to know more is inspiring and his love for others is overwhelming. He really does have a sweet heart. It melts my heart to hear him tell me that he loves me. (2)My health. Even though it seems as though we made LOTS of visits back and forth to doctors offices, it could have been a lot worse. My epilepsy has been controlled and for that I am so thankful. (3)Our families. Without them we would be lost. From last minute babysitters, to lending much needed advice, they are always there. Family is so important and I hope that is one thing that we are able to teach Evan that he will carry with him forever. (4)Our amazing friends. They are the ones that we cry out to when we need someone to pray. I am so thankful for my "oldies but goodies" and my new found friends all the same! I firmly believe that God brings people in and out of your life to fulfill pieces that you never knew you needed. Sometimes, we get lucky and those people stick around for a while. We love you guys! (5)Our jobs. The economy is still having a tough time and there are still so many without jobs. I am so thankful that James and I are both able to work. (6)Touch of Talley Photography. This hobby turned part-time job has been such a release for me! It has allowed me to explore my creativity, make new friends and help others make memories that will last forever! Thank you to my clients for helping me make this dream a reality. (7)Our wonderful church and church family. This year, they have ministered to our family in more ways than we can count. The endless prayers, the meals, the hugs, and the visits have warmed our hearts. I don't see how people make it through difficult times without a church family to lean on. The people of First Baptist Wetumpka are the greatest! (8)Our salvation. Without Jesus we would be lost. He is the rock that we cling to and the light that we look for at the end of the tunnel. He is our saving grace. Jesus has brought us to where we are and I know that He is guiding our path. My prayer is that we will continue to seek His will and follow with an open heart. (9)And last but not least, each other. Well, I am thankful for James and I hope he is thankful for me! He is my best friend. At the end of the day, he is there for me. I love to see his face as I close my eyes to sleep and feel his kiss in the morning light. How lonely would this world be had God not created us for one another? It was His intent, His plan and for that I am so THANKFUL!

Over this past weekend, we celebrated the birth of our Savior, grieved with friends over the loss of their loved one, pondered over what is to come and hopefully (at some point) remembered to thank Jesus for all He has done. My God is great and I feel so blessed to be able to praise His name.

I pray that your 2012 will be even better than your 2011. I pray that you find peace with Jesus and yourself. I pray that all the "lessons needing to be learned" come quickly-maybe I should say, I pray that you learn those lessons quickly. God has so much to teach us; things to make this life better than we ever dreamed. Share your hopes and dreams with Him and watch Him make them a reality. Love on the ones you hold dear. Tell people that you love them. Give hugs and kisses while you can and never stop believing that God is great. Just remember oh how He loves us!

Until next time...

A Little Update

Greetings All! I did not realize it had been so long since my last post. Things medically are going really well. I had a few episodes of some headaches and return symptoms several weeks ago, however we discovered that I was being over-medicated. How about that?! It is strange that you have a condition that has these symptoms and the medication they put you on also have those as side effects. How in the world are you supposed to know the difference when they are exactly the same?! Fortunately, my great Dr. V did. After one phone call, he felt confident that "too much medicine" was my problem. He decreased it by half and placed me on a small dose of a migraine medication at night. It was crazy at how quickly those symptoms/side effects went away! Praise the Lord!

This quick fix was an answered prayer of mine. I was fearful that I was going to have to undergo another spinal tap and have to be off work for an extended period of time. Dr. Troglen has been so good to work with me and support me when I needed to be off. Here is yet another answered prayer.

Those of you reading and following my blog may think that each and every time all I do is say "this is an answered prayer..." but that is truly what this whole experience has been...one answered prayer after another. Our God is so faithful and true. He never leaves us and oh how he loves us!

Most of you know I was told that losing weight was going to be a huge factor of treatment for me. The Dr. wanted me to lose 10-15 pounds and to date, I have lost 15. This is huge for me seeing how I have no, I mean NO self control when it comes to my favorite foods!!! :) My taste buds have changed due to the medication, so that has helped a great deal, but I also know I have had a lot of people praying that I would be able to do all that was necessary to lose the weight and control the side effects of the pseudotumor.

I am so thankful for my family and friends that have rallied around me to support and love me through the diagnosis and beginning stages of treatment. There was so much that we just did not know for a while. Now, I am glad that I can say with a smile on my face that I am finally feeling like Heather again!

Some have asked about James and me having another baby. With this medication, being pregnant is not an option. I go back to see Dr. V in January and I am very anxious to see what he has to say about me staying on the medication. He is not one that feels that medication is the answer and for that I am thankful.

Prayer Requests:
Please be in prayer that James and I will be open to hear all that Dr. V has for us in January and that I (mainly) will be ok with staying on meds if that is what he feels is best for me. Also, please pray that I will be able to continue with the weight loss. From what Dr. V has told me, the more weight I lose, the better my chances are at keeping the side effects away.

Thanks again for your continued prayers, love and encouragement.

Until next time...

Unexpected Surprises...Expected Answered Prayers!

We made it through the weekend without too much talk of "Next Tuesday." Jesus and I talked a lot this particular weekend. I know that He knows our hearts, but sometimes (always) He wants to hear from us just what it is that we want. So, in true Heather form, I began to tell (ask) Him. I had not been scared about any of this until I was sitting in that chair looking across from my dr. unsure of what he was about to tell me. So, I prayed about my fears. Over the past 4 years I have learned that I don't do fearful very well. I like to be confident. I like to feel confident in decisions, I like to feel confident in others, and I like to feel confident in myself. I was missing that. So, I prayed. I needed for Him to take that fear and wash it all away...I could not do it. I needed for Him to restore my vision that seemed to be getting worse with each visit and test. It was obvious that there was nothing I could do about that either. It had to be a God thing. On the way home for church Sunday morning, WE had church in the Talley Durango! These words rang through our speakers and tears began to flow down my cheeks. It was just like He knew what I needed to hear in that very moment!
"When I call on Jesus! All things are possible! I can mount on wings as eagles and soar!
When I call on Jesus! Mountains are gonna fall! Cause he'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call!!"
Now, I call that a true Jesus moment! He was making sure I knew that all I needed to do was call on him. In that moment, it was Jesus and me! He calmed my heart, my fears and mind. Once I dried my tears, I looked back and see my sweet little man sitting in his car seat with the sweetest expression on his face. He caught a glimpse of me and said "I love you, Mommy!"

Well, as days tend to do, day turned to night and night to day and we found ourselves on the eve of Tuesday, October 18. James was not going to be able to make and neither could my mom. So, what did I do? I called in my adopted Wetumpka grandma...Mrs. Jean! She and Mr. Fred have been so sweet to me and my family since we joined FBC. Being able to have them as part of our lives is another reason why I feel the Lord led us to First Baptist.

Mrs. Jean agreed to meet me at 6 am and off we would go. Little did we know that this "short trip" would end up being an all day event!

When I left the office last Thursday, Dr. V. told me I would need to come back and re-take one 30 minute test and then be on my way. Well, when I got there, there was paperwork to complete (I feel like these sweet girls know everything about me by now) and an eye exam. After the eye exam, I went in for the field vision test (this is what I was really there for, the test that I failed so miserably 5 days before). I had to wait 30 minutes in between taking this test (they wanted me to take it twice), so I re-did a pregnancy test (which was negative) and hung out with Mrs. Jean. After taking the test, I was taken back to the case study room to wait on the results to see if I now qualified for the study.

Let me interject here by saying that I asked the Lord to make this decision and path really clear. I needed to be certain, one way or another, that I was making the right choice...the one that He had for me. It was then up to me to listen and respond.

After sitting, for what seemed like forever, Ashley (the case worker) came in and told me that there was something a bit strange with my vision. It appears as though my blind spot is a lot lower than the average persons. I was seeing blinking lights and was clicking the button, which would cause the machine to shut off, since the machine knew I was not supposed to be seeing the lights (this is why they kept saying, only click if you are certain you see a flashing light). Sign from God #1. She asked if I wanted to re-take the test again and see if the results would be different or if I just wanted to proceed with treatment. I was a mess. I asked if I could call James and see what words of wisdom he had for me. He told me that it was up to me. He felt like I would benefit from the study, but the decision was mine. He would support me either way (altogether now, aww, how sweet--haha). By now I am a little tearful and feel like maybe my mom can help, so to the phone I go! I called her and once again, it was left up to me. She did voice that she would feel better with me just going ahead with treatment. I just could not find ease. By now, tears are starting to fall and I looked at Mrs. Jean and said, "I have prayed that God would make this clear to me and I just don't want to not listen." This was a FLASHING light from God, I just was not paying attention. Sweet Mrs. Jean gave me a pat on my shoulder...I knew she was praying.

Ashley came back in to the room and explained that I did not qualify for the study but it was not because of the blind spot...you ready??? My vision had improved too much to qualify! Now! How about that! SCREAMING VOICE OF GOD!! I fell apart at this point and began to apologize. I told her I did not know why I was so emotional, I just felt completely overwhelmed. There is something about seeing your prayers be answered. My God is amazing! He does this every day for every one! We just don't take the time to see the answered prayers before us! Mrs. Jean spoke up and said, "Well Heather, we have all been praying and this is what we have been praying for!"

Ashley immediately began to think she had given a false hope that I was all cured, but I quickly explained to her that any improvement was better than none and most certainly better than a decline. I told her that I had prayed and this was what I had asked for. God had heard my cries. Well lo and behold, she started to tear up! The Spirit was definitely moving in that room that day! Dr. V. came in and was not giving up on me participating in the study. I simply looked at him and told him that it was ok and that was the way it was supposed to be.

He sent us away for lunch while he tried to get it approved for me to be included (you had to fall within a range and I was like .01 "to good" to participate). He sent me away with a prescription for the drug, in case they would not let me participate, and an appointment to see him again. I was in the car calling James and my parents and Shareka (case worker) called to let me know they were not letting me in...answered prayer. I thanked them for everything and told them I would see them in January!

Mrs. Jean and I stopped for lunch after leaving and tried to digest all that had happened. I am so thankful she was able to go with me. I would have been fine being there alone, but there is something powerful about a praying woman! I know that she prayed for me that day. Words will never be enough to say thank you Mrs. Jean!

I filled my prescription that afternoon and started my first dose that night. The side effects are interesting. There is a tingle in my fingers (that has now moved into my hands) and toes (that has now moved into my legs to my knees) and also my lips...try kissing with tingly lips...thats an interesting one! My mouth stays dry most of the time and my appetite has decreased. Since my first dose of the new medicine, I have lost 6 pounds (answered prayer). You all know weight loss is something I have to do as part of my treatment plan, so this is not so bad. The worst part has been that my taste buds have changed-not for foods, but for soft drinks. I have not had a Mt. Dew since the 18th!!! Oh my goodness!!! I would give anything to have one! Thank goodness I can still have sweet tea-answered prayer!! I can still have any food that I want, those taste buds have not changed, so that is a good thing.

Prayer Requests:
1) That meds will continue to work as needed 2) That I will get some energy back 3) That I can continue to lose the weight as needed 4) That I can learn to live without Mt. Dew!!

Until next time...

A long, long day!

Friday, October 14 meant it was time for us to travel back to Birmingham for a visit with Dr. V and his staff! Since my eyes were going to have to be dilated, I did not think it would be the best idea for me to travel alone and have to drive back by myself. James could not make the trip, so my mom was able to meet me in Calera and ride with me (thanks Mrs. Betty!) and then drive Evan and me back to their house. It was homecoming at Bibb County, so I was excited to go to the game and see old friends! The appointment started right on time and with some of the same stuff. I had to go over paperwork and do a pregnancy test (this has to be done each time to ensure that I am not since I CAN NOT be pregnant while on this medication). Once these things were done, it was time for the eye exams!

The eye exams were fine, not much had changed...not too much can change, I don't guess, when you already can't see! haha! From there, I went to do my field vision test. It was the strangest thing! She kept saying, "Only press the button if you are sure you are seeing the light." My response was, "I am only pressing the button when I see the light." Come to find out she could not find my blind spot. Now, we all know that everyone has a blind spot. I completed those tests knowing that I may have to redo them. What joy!

I moved from there to have images made of my eyes. This was pretty cool! They took me to a machine that got really close to my eyeball and had me hold my eyes open really wide. When she took the image, it was showing all of the veins and vessels in the eye. It was pretty cool to see, not to mention my eyelashes looked amazing (haha!). The tech was very sweet and very patient as she could see I was a bit anxious and tired. By this point, we had been there for a couple of hours and my eyes had been dilated 2 times.

From there, I repeated the field vision test. It was more of the same...see the flashing light, click the button and once again I was hearing, "Heather, only click if you see." By this point, my flesh was wanting to surface, so Jesus and I were having a little heart to heart! It is amazing how calming that can be! What if every time we felt our 'flesh' begin to surface we did that! How different would our responses be? What would others see in and through us? Hopefully the love of Jesus!

After the vision test, it was time for more pictures. By this point, I was DONE! Do you hear me? D.O.N.E!! It is 4:45pm and we have been at this since 12:50 pm. My sweet Evan has been so good, he has not complained and my poor mother has been dragged all over! The tech begins the test and the more she tells me to open my eyes and not blink, the more I want to blink! UGH! She kept asking if I wanted a break and I would simply answer with a "No, let's get this done!" I did not notice that she made a phone call in the middle of the test, but this will be important later in our day. This test seemed to go on forever! We finally wrapped up about 5:15 and the tech got a page. We thought we were on our way home when she looks and says, Dr. V needs to see you again.

When we got upstairs, I saw my case worker, Shareka and she had a very serious look on her face. Once in the exam room, I told my mom something was wrong. She provided comforting words, but for the first time since all of this came up, I was scared. There was Evan. My little man. My love- looking so much like his daddy, the man I had given my whole heart to. I didn't know what to do. I began to pray. Dr. V came in rather quickly and sat down in front of me, behind his equipment and told me that they had detected something in some pictures and he needed to take another look. I told him I was scared and he told me that he knew, but he needed for me to relax. For the 3rd time- my eyes were dilated! Whew! They needed a rest!

Once he finished he said that he had called in back-up from the hospital and he wanted Dr. Shaw to take a look. He came in, looked and said that he felt comfortable saying that whatever they saw in the images was not really there and that my eye (right) appeared to be ok. Dr. V said that it looked like the bottom half of my right eye was black and that would have been caused by head trauma/bleeding behind the eye. That would not have been a good thing! Since they both felt like I was ok, Dr. V told me he would keep a watch on it but I was free to go home. He did inform me that I had failed the field vision test really badly and that I needed to come back to re-take the test. So, I scheduled my appointment for the following Tuesday. I think I have learned every crack in I-65 by now!!

Once again, God shown His faithfulness to me. 1) He helped me to get through all of the testing even though I was so tired 2) He helped keep my little man peaceful and at ease while he waited 3) He made it possible for my mom to be there so I would not have to be alone 4) He sent wonderful people to work with me throughout the day to bring encouragement and 5) He was there holding my hand when possibly really bad news was to come. I felt the Lord there with me, with his arms wrapped so tightly around me. No words could ever explain how that feels. The power of God is amazing and I am so blessed to have been able to experience it firsthand! I pray that I am eager and open to share all He has done for me when He provides the opportunities!

Until next time...

Back and Forth We Go!

On Tuesday, October 11, James and I traveled to see Dr. V to hopefully find out something about the LP that I had done the week before. I met with my sweet case workers, completed my eye exams, had a field vision test and then saw Dr. V. After this visit, we were to go to the Kirklin Clinic to visit with my neurologist for my 6 month visit. Whew! It was going to be a long day!!

My case workers, Shareka and Ashley were so sweet! They took the time to get to know James and me! It was such a blessing to know that we (or I) was much more than just a case number! They had to ask all sorts of medical history questions and even got some information on how sweet our Evan is (we didn't make them pay for that!). Frankie was the lady that would conduct my eye exams. She was very friendly and worked to make sure I was comfortable. The eye exams were a little frustrating because I could tell that I was not seeing what she was wanting me to see. My sight is just not what it used to be (and thats not saying much, cause it has never been good!). The field vision test was not one of my most favorite parts of the day. They stuck my head in a machine and asked to me click this button every time I saw a flashing light. Well, every time I saw the flashing light she would question me and that would make feel like I was really messing this one up! I continued on and then saw Dr. V. He was great- as usual! He conducted my exam and made sure all of our questions were answered. It is nice to have a physician that you feel truly has your best interest at heart!

All in all I would say that our visit to the Callahan Eye Foundation was a success...it was long, but I think it was a success. We did have to schedule a revisit for that Friday, but we knew to expect frequent visits in the beginning.

From there we went for my regular 6 month check up at the Kirklin Clinic. We were meeting with a lady who specializes in women with epilepsy. When we made this appointment six months ago, we felt like we may be ready to try for another little one and just wanted to hear from her about side effect on the fetus, statistics and all, and any other information she could give about my current medication. I felt the appointment with her put our minds and hearts at ease. Now, no, we are not ready to begin the process of having another baby. This new diagnosis has somewhat thrown a kink in that, but we are trusting that when God shows us that the time is right, that even though I have to be medicated and on this medication specifically, that all will be ok. Now, with that said, we will be calling on our prayer warriors! With any pregnancy comes the chance that something may go wrong or that birth defects could grow, but the medication simply increases those chances. I know and I trust that with God we can beat those odds. My God is bigger than any statistic or percentage!!

Once we left Birmingham, we met my parents for dinner and picked little man up after an extended stay in Centreville. Man was he rotten! I think he would have been ok having dinner with us and then going back with Nana and Big Daddy. You know he has figured out that he gets to do whatever he wants when he is there. I am so thankful that he was able to go and spend some time with them! I am sure it was just as good for them as it was for him!

God continues to answer prayers! How many times can I say how faithful my God is? He is always there and always comes through! He is able and oh how he loves me!!

Until next time...

With a Lumbar Puncture comes R.E.L.I.E.F!!!

On Monday, October 3, James and I made a trip to Brookwood Hospital in Birmingham for me to have my Lumbar Puncture (LP). It was difficult for me to leave town since when we woke up, Evan was running a temperature. It broke my heart to leave my sick baby, even though I knew it was something that had to be done. I knew his Papa would take good care of him, but there is nothing like having your mama when you don't feel good!

We made it there safely-which was answered prayer number 1! For those who may not know what an LP is, it is where they place a long, skinny needle into the spine, more specifically, the spinal fluid sac, to retrieve fluid. They will draw off what they need and then simply place a band-aid. Sounds easy enough...right? The pressure that comes with this can be painful. The pain is not always so much during the procedure, but afterwards. Previous to this one, I had had two before. The first was a terrible, I mean terrible, experience. The Dr. could not get the spinal in and was not very patient with me and my nerves. I was scared to death! Try knowing that you need to lie still, however knowing that there is a needle being injected...not too easy to be still! The second, on the other hand, was the complete opposite! The Dr. was patient and put me at ease. He told me "I need for you to lie on your back..." and I was like "Are you done?" It was the best experience! On a side note...the people at Brookwood, were so helpful and nice. From the sweet lady that checked me in, to the insurance filing lady, to the gentleman who took me to the waiting room, to the tech that assisted the Dr. to the Dr. They were so accommodating! This was answered prayer number 2! Thank you Lord for sending kind people to ease already anxious nerves!

At Brookwood, they use the X-Ray machine to find the tiny space where they need to enter. This was different, but I must say I think it helped! I only felt the numbing stick and then no more pain. The pressure was intense at times....even causing me tingle in certain places from time to time...but there was no pain! PRAISE THE LORD! This was answered prayer number 3 for the day! Our God is so good!

Once the LP was complete, they sent me on my way. I think this is where the end of the week troubles began! When James got me home, to bed I went and there I camped out until Wednesday. Some days were better than others, but that comes with having any procedure. God gave me the best husband. He took wonderful care of me while I was "bed-bound" for several hours!! God has blessed our family with a wonderful church family. They have rallied around James and me and poured out prayers on our behalf! They knew the that I would be unable to be up and about for several hours, so they made sure that we had meals! No questions asked! What an amazing group of people we have been blessed with! Some people take this for granted, but please trust me that I do not! I live in a town away from my parents, grandmother and aunt. It means SO much to have people surround you and truly love you for being you. They don't question you, don't talk about you, they just love you and take care of you. For that I am so thankful! My God is so good and once again he has proven oh how He loves me!

Wednesday, I noticed I was having a headache that made me feel as though I either wanted to throw up or pass out. After my lunchtime nap, it was gone, so I did not think much more about it. James and I talked it over and I decided to go back to work the next day.

Thursday, I got up and dressed, ready for my day! While putting my make-up on, I sat down on the toilet and noticed that made my head hurt really badly, so I stood up...and just like magic, the pain was gone! I got Evan in the car and we headed to Amy's!! The moment I sat down, the pain rushed to my head and caused me to shake! I called James immediately and told him something was wrong! He asked if I had called the Dr. Since I had not, I decided now may be a good time. I called and left a message, told them my symptoms and asked that they call back as soon as they could. Well, as it always is, when I stepped away from my phone, they called! The minute my feet hit the ground, the headache was gone. Once inside Amy's, I asked to lie on her couch and the pain was relieved even more being flat. This was the strangest thing I had ever endured (and the worst pain while sitting--and I have had labor contractions!).

I called Dr. Vaphiades back and told me to go straight to the ER to have a blood patch done. Dr. V was going to call ahead so they would be expecting me. I called James and he met me at church. We left from there and headed to Jackson, thinking a simple ER visit would be all it would take. Well, by the time I got there, the pain was so bad, I began to vomit. I must confess, I have never had pain be so bad that it made me do this. James looked as though he felt so bad for me, but he did look cute with his suit and my purse!! :)

After about 5 minutes, they tell us that they can't do the procedure in the ER, they are sending me to the OR! Well...that was not in the plans for the day!! Thank you Lord for a little Thursday morning surprise!! God's hand was in all of this from the beginning. He planted people throughout my day that provided such encouragement and were so kind! That is really something I am striving to be each and every day....more and more kind! Maybe this was a lesson for me!! Anyway, a blood patch is where they take blood from your arm and place it near or directly in the injection site from the LP and fill the space where the fluid is leaking. Sounds a little gross?! Sorry! Whatever it is called, or whatever it does, it is FABULOUS! It worked immediately!!! There was no pain...not even sitting up!! AMAZING! I am so thankful for the sweet people that took such wonderful care of me while in the holding area and then during the procedure. They were all so nice!

We were headed back home and I was headed back to bed and that is where I camped out for the next 2 1/2 days!!! Now, I have been in bed all week! Not as much fun as it may sound! My parents came for a visit, which was wonderful and decided to take Evan home with them so James and I could rest for a few days. Man was our house quiet. I don't think I liked it!! Four days is too long for me to go and not see my little man's face!

Some things I learned while being flat on my back...
1) My ceiling fans and walls really need to be dusted!! 2) God is so faithful to provide the things that we need, even when we don't think we really need them 3) God loves us so much that he makes sure that we have the right support system in place to help us through difficult times 4) God never leaves or forsakes us! He is always with us 5) God brings a sense of calm and peace! 6) God answers His children's prayers!!

Thank you for praying and thank you for loving me!

Until next time...