It's Almost June! Whew!

I can not believe how quickly this year is flying by. Before I know it, I will be sending my baby to Kindergarten!! Evan's last day at Mrs. Amy's "school" was last Friday, and yes I cried when I dropped him off. What can I say? I am a sap!

James and I took Evan and our cousin Maci to the Birmingham Zoo yesterday and what fun we had. The zoo there is great! So much to see and do. We left Centreville around 8:15 am and returned around 4:45 pm! Talk about a full day!! Needless to say, we had two sleepy heads in our back seat on the way home! I treasure times like this that we are able to share together. Our little man is growing so fast and I know there is coming a day when we will begin him to want to stay home and spend time with us, not to mention our littlest one will be here before we know! Life as a family of 3 will be no more!!

Speaking of the baby, our last appointment went well. We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat (beating strong at 153) and Dr. Ashurst was pleased with everything. I had only gained 1 pound, which made this Mama very happy! We will return on Tuesday, June 11, to find out if we will be bouncing in blue or pretty in pink!!

Things continue to go well with me medically. All of my doctors are pleased with the reports so far and are planning to keep a close eye on me as this baby continues to grow. There has been no need for medicine changes or treatment changes thus far. PTL!!

Mama continues to push along through her treatments. I wish I could report that energy levels and such have remained steadfast, but not so much. She is finding herself more and more tired and the more tired she becomes, the more frustrated she is. I keep trying to remind her that this is only temporary and that this is not forever. Keeping a positive mindset is so important! I keep trying to push the positive, all the while feeling more and more terrible that I am pushing and pushing her. I hope I am not coming across as insensitive, I know this is hard, but she has to keep going. Pushing through the hard days is what is going to make the end of all this all the sweeter. I know that is what she would do if the tables were turned.

We continue to press forward, looking to a busy summer filled with VBS, swim lessons and a beach vacation, not to mention room decor changes, cleaning out the baby's room and building a shed to house my photography stuff (have I mentioned that my business is going well? The Lord has really blessed it and confirmed that I am doing the right thing).

Be on the lookout! We will have a big "pink or blue" announcement in just a couple of weeks!!

Until next time...

Growing!

We have had two appointments to see Dr. Ashurst since finding out Evan is gonna be a big brother. Our first appointment brought an untrasound, which was so much fun. The baby's little heartbeat was so busy, just a pumping away. The second visit brought the chance to hear it's heartbeat. What a true miracle! The heartbeat was steady and strong and came in at a whopping 160. Now, he says that all baby's heartbeats will be around this at this point, but I think that sounds like a girl to me! :) A girl can wish, can't she?!

I am feeling nauseous most days and have been sick at least 2-3 days out of the week. Zofran is a friend and stays with me at all times. I have never had sickness that it did not matter if I had eaten or not nor do the kinds of foods matter. When it hits, it hits and boy is it the pits!

Evan still has NO desire to talk or think about a new baby. All he has on his brain in a new kitten. I sure hope he mellows out before November, or he is gonna be on sad little fella!

Mama is continuing to do well. Her taste buds are not working just right, so nothing really tastes good, but she is hanging in there. Her weight has been down, then back up, then down again, but for the most part, it is staying balanced. She eats cause she needs to, not because it tastes good!

I go to see my neurologist at Kirklin next Tuesday, just for a check up.

That is all for now.

Until next time...

Never A Dull Moment!

Life is never dull around the Talley household! We are just getting used to the idea of my Mom having cancer and all that comes with chemotherapy and then we find out we are expecting baby #2!! I, of course, am hoping for pink and James says no way! Lots of family and friends are wishful for twins and James just thinks that is cruel! We shall have what the Lord thinks is best for our family. I am excited and can't wait to see just what that is.

Let's get back to the whole cancer thing. Mom found a lump in her right breast back in early January that she knew just felt different than any others before. Let me interject here how important self-checks really are! Her mammogram in November was clear, so if she had waited until time for another, it would have been a whole year. By that time, her prognosis may not have been good. After discovering the lump and a couple of appointments, it was decided that the lump needed to be removed. She went for the lumpectomy and it was determined that it was cancer. Talk about a punch in the gut! I can't imagine how she must have felt to hear the words because I know it made me want to throw up!

Prognosis is good for Mama. It was caught very early (stage 1) and with few treatments, the dr's feel as though she will make a full recovery and never have to deal with this again! PTL! She has recovered nicely from the lumpectomy and the port placement. Today she told me that she really does not even notice the port anymore.

On the Tuesday before Mom's first (she will have 6 total followed by 35 radiation treatments) chemo treatment, I found out that we are expecting our second baby! What excitement filled my heart and I knew would bring Mama much needed joy to endure this summer. Something fun to look forward to! Who doesn't get excited about a new baby?! Oh, yeah, Evan is who does not get excited....that's who!

We decided to tell Evan just before telling my side of the family and let him share the good new with everyone. I had a Big Brother shirt made for him to wear to "spill the beans." When James told him, and I showed him his shirt, he fell back on the bed and began to cry hysterically. He told us that he did not want this to happen...now please remember back just a couple of months ago I shared with you him telling Santa that he wanted "two baby sisters at one time!" Yes, this is the same child! James reminded him of his request and he promptly answered, "I was only kidding."

Since that day, he has come around and is willing talk to you about the baby if you talk about it in terms of it being a girl. If God blesses us with another boy I am not sure what we are gonna do! Maybe he will get the kitten that his heart truly desires!! :)

While pregnant with Evan I did not have any sickness and really felt good all of the time, but things have been a little different this time around. I have not "lost my lunch" at all, but the feeling that I could blow at any moment comes and sticks around most all day. My energy level is not what it used to be, but I have heard that all of this means the pregnancy is normal.

I am anxious for our first appointment and announcement of our official due date. According to the Internet, we should be looking at early November. We will see what Dr. Ashurst has to say!

A few prayer requests:
Mom mentioned today that she has some sores on her head. Please be in prayer that these will heal quickly. She also talked about her mouth feeling like it is on fire and her digestive tract has been affected by the chemo. These are all normal side effects, but uncomfortable nonetheless.
This pregnancy. My pseudotumor side effects are triggered by weight gain and we all know that weight gain comes with pregnancy, so please join us in prayer that these side effects will remain at bay and that the pregnancy will be a healthy one.
I am taking medication for my epilepsy, so please pray that this medication will not harm the growth and development of our tiniest blessing as it grows in the months to come. I (and James) will feel much better when we can look at the screen and see our little one and know that all is well!

Until Next Time...

Sit. Wait. Learn.

Sitting and waiting is sometimes the hardest thing to do. I am learning, as I sit and wait, that those are precious moments that are meant to be spent in prayer. Drawing closer to God has become a priority in my life and what a change it has made.

There are many aspects of life that can cause a person to have to sit and wait. We wait in line for our food. We sit and wait to see the doctor. We wait to have procedures (most of the time longer that we wish). We sit and wait as loved ones have procedures. We wait for our kids in the school line. We wait to get pregnant. We wait for those babies to grow so that we can meet them. We wait for the day we can see loved ones again who have gone before us. We wait for our babies to talk. We wait for them to learn it's ok to be quiet. We wait for our "better half" to pop the question. We wait for the day we say "I Do!" We wait to for a diagnosis. We wait to finish school-just to go to college. We wait to turn 21 (what does that mean, really?!), We wait to earn a degree. We wait to land a job. We wait to own our first home. We wait to see if medications will work. We wait for brighter days. We wait beside the bed of sick loved ones. We wait for heartache to go away. We wait.

I am an instant gratification kind of girl, so waiting has not always been my strongest asset. I must add, that I have learned to lean on the One who holds the control panel and takes the lead. I know in my heart that all things work according to His will and in due time, I will have to wait no longer. Answered prayers are hard to wait for and sometimes we get the answer, but because it is not the one we want, we choose to ignore it.

I don't understand the reason events take place the way they do. I don't understand why people come and go from our lives the way they do. I don't understand why there are cruel people in this world. There is so much that I can not wrap my head around. What I DO understand is that there is a loving God who cares and loves me (and you) so!! He knows my every thought and my every action, even before I do. He allows me to love (and love passionately), and to hurt. He allows me to question and understand. He allows me chances to make my own decisions and opportunities for me to learn from my mistakes. He allows me time to sit and wait and in that waiting, hopefully learn more of His goodness.

There is so much that I yearn to know. There are so many aspects in my life where I look forward to growing. Growing closer to Him and learning more about Him excites me every day. I am anxious to see what He wants to teach me in my coming years. There are things that He wants me to know - things about my husband James, Evan, my family, and yes, even more that he wants to teach me about myself.

As I sit and wait, I will trust in the Lord! Take a moment as you sit and wait today (you know you will at some point) and spend some quality time with Him. He wants to hear from you.

Prayer Requests:
*Mrs. Marta is a dear friend who treats me like I am part of her own family. She will be having surgery tomorrow to remove a tumor that has attached itself to her skull. As you can imagine, she is scared. I am sure her family is terrified. Please join me in prayer that she will be comforted and feel the peace from the Lord. Please pray for her doctor--that he will rest well tonight and have steady hands for the surgery. Please lift her family as they "sit and wait" to hear the news post-surgery. Please pray that we as her friends are able to minister to her as the Lord would have us to. That we would be the hands and feet of Jesus.

*Special Unspoken

Until Next Time...

Recovering and Preparing!

Well, Christmas has come and gone (even though the inside of my house is still decorated) and we are now preparing for a Valentine's Day wedding. That's right! My baby brother Heath is tying the knot! We are so happy for him and Christina. I am thrilled to be gaining a new sister. I am including some of their engagement photos from their session a couple of weekends ago. It was so much fun! I am looking forward to her bridal shoot and the wedding day. I must say, going shopping for new clothes for the festivities has been a lot of fun!

Medical Update: Things are on the up and up with me. I had a great appointment with Dr. Vaphiades a couple of weeks ago. I had to undergo another field vision test because it had been almost a year since my last and I must have done ok, he did not mention anything negative about it. He did however comment on the fact that I look thinner! Now that will make any girl's day! I don't have to go back until July!! Yea! I can not say enough of how I know God has been in the middle of all of this the entire time. He has brought these amazing people into my life who have been blessed with medical knowledge to know just what to look at and how to treat it-just when I needed it the most. I am so thankful for His intervention and His guidance since day one. It's funny how when faced with situations that can make you feel so gloom, God can make you feel joyful, just knowing He is in control. It does no good to be fearful, He holds it all in His hands anyway.

The more I live, the more I learn. Not only about life, but about me. About my strengths and weaknesses, my loves and passions, my hopes and dreams. I don't think you are ever too old to dream. God's love is amazing and His love challenges me to be a better me every day. I strive to lift His name every day, in my actions, in my words, in my deeds. May God be glorified! Oh how He loves me so!!

I have decided this year to be happy. That's my choice! I challenge you to choose happiness each day. I can not tell you the difference this has made in my life. Each day is sweeter. Have upsets come my way? Yes. But having the attitude that I WILL be happy has changed the way that I have accepted those things and been able to move on. What a difference an attitude will make!

I pray that your days are sweet and filled with kindness.

Until next time...

Excited for Christmas!

Things have been busy around the Talley house as we are gearing up for Christmas. Evan is so much fun to watch and listen to as he talks to his friends and others about Christmas. It brings me much joy to know that he really gets the reason we celebrate Christmas. Now, just as any four year old, he gets very excited to get up each morning and see what trouble McElfen (our Elf On A Shelf) has found himself in and he is looking forward to Santa coming.

I love it that James is so into the "magic" of Christmas. Before we had Evan, he always said that his children would not believe in Santa--however, he typed a letter to Evan from Santa yesterday. Funny how a baby changes everything. It brings me joy to watch James rediscover Christmas in a whole new way. I am thankful for Evan and the excitement of his little four year old self!

The start to our Christmas festivities is always Christmas On The Coosa. For those of you not from Elmore County, COTC events are so much fun! We enjoy our time together as a family, walking through the town and watching the Christmas parade. It was a fun-filled day--which ended with a shopping trip and dinner out at Mellow Mushroom (it was oh so good!). What a fun day!

Evan's Christmas program at church was 2 weeks ago and they did a great job! He sings with the "Tiny Tones" at church, our 3, 4 and 5 year olds. They acted out a live Nativity as the Christmas story was being read aloud. They then sang a couple of songs and led the congregation in some songs. They did such a good job and were so cute!

This past weekend was filled with a Sunday school family Christmas party and then our Christmas cantata at church. We had a great time fellowshipping with the families of our Sunday school class. We were able to get some great pictures of the kiddos, gathered around the manger (we managed to "dress" them to match the part-bath towels, kids belts and scarves go a long way!). So sweet. I must interject here a story about my Evan. When we all walked outside the Blackwells for the kids photo-op, Evan walked to the cross, stretched his arms out and said, "I am Jesus Christ. I'm on the cross--I died." We all stood there, looking at one another. It really put into perspective how much the little ones listen to and obtain. He got it right. I am so thankful that James and I made the decision as a couple to raise Evan in church and teach Him the ways of the Lord.

Our Christmas cantata was great! The music was simply beautiful. The Children's Choir sang, rand bells and read scripture. The Students sang an upbeat version of "Angels We Have Heard On High", there were a couple solos, congregational singing and the adult choir closed it out. I heard people saying we sounded great! It was a fun night of singing praises to our Lord!

We are looking forward to our first family Christmas gathering this weekend. We will celebrate with the Talleys. There is never a dull moment when we are all together, so I am sure it will be a blast! Too much food, a lot of laughter and good times!

I promise to post pics soon!!

Remember, you better watch out...SANTA is watching!!! ;O

Until next time...

You Want A What?!

Even though I own my own photography business, there are times when mommy just will not do. I wanted to have Evan's pics made with Santa, so I found out where our favorite Santa would be and made an appointment. James, Evan and I traveled to Helena to Gretchen B's studio Saturday evening to see the most amazing Santa ever!!

I had a long day of shoots in Centreville and Evan was with us for a good bit of the afternoon, so he missed his nap. He slept on the way so I figured he would be in a great mood when he woke up to find that we were there to see Santa. Nope. That was not the case. He was a little cranky. For those of you who know Evan well, will find this next statement a little hard to believe-he was acting so shy! He actually told Gretchen that he was in a bad mood.

It took a little work, but finally we got him over to Santa. He found himself in his lap and Santa asked the most important question you ask this time of year, "So Evan, what do you want for Christmas?" Without skipping a beat, he looks up with a sheepish grin on his face and said, "A baby! 2 girl babies at the same time!" Well, then...Evan's order is in with Santa, what's on your wish list?!

Until next time...

Ready for a change!

It is a very humbling experience when you come to the point where you know that there is time for a change. So many times we shy away from change as if it is a bad thing. Sometimes change is necessary. There are times when things are going great, but you just know that if you changed one thing about your life, it could be even better! I have found that when I begin to feel this way,  there needs to be a difference made in my spiritual walk with the Lord. My flesh may be being fed, but there is a deep hunger that only Jesus can satisfy. Just because I am a Christian does not mean that my cup does not get low sometimes. That is no fault of Jesus, I am the one who fails to pull in and yell, "Fill'er up Lord!" I fall short on my end!

Lately, I have struggled with feelings of accomplishment and pride (if I am being completely honest). It is very easy to get caught up in the very routine day in and day out kinds of things and forget to recognize that you are special and worth something to somebody. Get up, get dressed, get E to pre-school, go to work, go home during lunch only to clean something up, get back to work, go home, laundry, cook, clean some more, bathe E, then collapse and try to catch a breath before sliding into bed- only to toss and turn thinking of the things that need to be done the next day! Whew! That makes me tired just typing it out!! In the middle of all this, we women, need social networking time (aka girlfriends, girl time!).

Now, I know that I can't be the only woman who feels as though she is pulled here and there and still is trying to act like she has it all together! My friends crack me up at some of their comments. I actually had a friend tell me that I have it all together! WHAT?! I sometimes feel like I am running around barely covering any ground. How can I do all of this "stuff" and be the wife and mother that God has created me to be? Better yet, how can I allow all of this "stuff" to get to me and be the wife and mother that God has called me to be? That is where Satan finds me and tells me that I am too busy to be doing any good! Is he right? Am I too busy? Where does all of this running to and fro get me? Am I building the Kingdom of God?

God is working in my life and urging me to be a stronger wife. I want to be the kind of wife who her husband knows is praying for him, who he trusts with all of his heart, who he cherishes and longs to see and love. I want to be a servant kind of wife (now, wait, I did not say a servant...not to be run over, talked down to or taken advantage of, but to love with a servants heart-there is a difference). James and I have celebrated seven years of marriage and I can honestly say that there are some times that I wish I could go back and have a "do-over." There are some conversations that were had that could have been handled with different tones and, if we are being extremely honest, different volumes. I want to change my response when situations arise. I want to be able to handle them with an open mind and heart. I am ready for a change!

Work in my life Lord and create within me a fresh start! Help me to be the wife that you created me to be- a helpmate to my husband. A support for him. I know that without you I am nothing, Lord and can do nothing, but with you all things are possible. You can take this stubborn, strong-willed, "I can do anything!" attitude and mold me where you would have me be.

Until next time...

I love my little man!

Evan is growing so much and learning more than I could have dreamed! He picks up on everything and is able to retain it. That can be scary sometimes!! I have learned that when he tells me it is ok for me to take some pics, I better take him out for a photo shoot. A couple of weekends ago after church, he said, "Mommy, let's go take some pictures!" Needless to say I jumped right on that! We had a fun time together, just the two of us (James was home sick), exploring Prattville together and making memories that I know I will cherish forever! Here are a few of our end results:

 He does and says the funniest things. I love it that he will be in another room and run to me, just to tell me that he loves me. I hope that never goes away!! He is attached to this teddy bear who he lovingly refers to as "Peanut Bear" and when asked why, "Well, because he's the color of peanut butter!" Why of course! 

I don't think this little guy will ever know the love and joy he has brought to my heart, my soul or our home. I can't imagine what life would be like without him! Who would have thought that 10 little fingers and toes, two little hands and feet or one great big smile could change a life so much?! I love him to the moon and back!!

Until next time...

Thumbs Up from Dr. V!!

I am just a little behind in my blogging. Sorry! I am sure you all know how busy life can become. Back in July I had to make a quick trip to Birmingham because I was having some headaches that seemed to want to linger. Dr. V was not certain that they were associated with the psedutumor, but would not rule it out until he saw me. After an exam, he said that he felt as though I was just having migraines. He decided to treat me with Botox. Now, I must interject here that I do not know how women do this for cosmetic purposes. It hurt SO badly!! I almost passed out from the pain and I must say that I have built up quite a tolerance for pain. It did take about 3-4 days before it really kicked in, but I am happy to announce that I have not had any headaches since. I guess the temporary pain was worth it in the long run!

James, Evan and I traveled to Birmingham to meet with Dr. Vaphiades, September 10, for my re-check appointment. We had a great visit. Dr. V came in, did an eye exam and said that my optic nerve swelling is down!! Praise the Lord! He was so optimistic and pleased with everything. He did ask that I try to lose about 8 more pounds, so please join me in prayer that I will be able to do that.

With this said, he told us that I did not need to come back until January! YEA!!! I am over the moon excited about this one! It is so nice to know that God heard our petitions and has proven once again that He is the almighty! We never know the reason behind the trials. We never understand the outcomes, but praise the Lord that He loves us enough to listen and respond.

He talked with us about having more children. He laid out a great game plan as to what to do when I become pregnant. I am praying now, that when the time comes that God sees fit to bless our family with an addition, that there will be no side effects. If the side effects come, spinal taps will have to be our go-to during the first trimester, as I can not be on meds and be pregnant. It is safe to be on the meds the remainder of the pregnancy, but I know that MY GOD is way bigger than pseudotumor and he can make is so that there are no side effects from the weight gain at all!! I am claiming this even now!! I ask that you would place this request on your prayer list as well! His time is perfect! I think James knowing that Dr. V has a plan, helps his mind rest easier. I know that he worries about me- I love him so much for that!

Thank you so much for the continued prayers and concerns. There is not a day that goes by that someone does not call, see me or shoot an email or text and ask how I am feeling. It is so nice to know that people care and love you! Thank you for loving me and my family!

I feel like over the past year (it has been one year this month since I received a diagnosis and plan) I have asked for lots of prayer. Please let me know how I may pray for you. Prayer is the best gift I can give and it is my pleasure to petition the Lord on your behalf! Oh, how he loves us so!

Prayer Requests:
1. That I will be able to lost the remaining 8 pounds as requested by Dr. V.
2. That the side effects will remain at bay.
3. That I will continue to have opportunities to share my story of how God has lifted me up.
4. Please continue to pray for the staff at the Callahan Eye Foundation. They are a great group of people who care about their patients.

Until next time...