Friday, August 10, 2012

I Still Believe

It seems as though when you think you have it altogether, you have it all planned out, you know what is best and you know the direction to take...God sends a reminder that He is in control! You would think I would get a clue!! I like the saying, "Just when you think you have your plan together tell God and hear Him laugh." The Jeremy Camp song, "I Still Believe" is currently playing on my playlist and the words could not be more true!! "I still believe in your faithfulness! I still believe in your truth! I still believe in your Holy Word! Even when I don't see, I still believe!!"

Things medically have leveled back out. I am off my medications (again) and the Botox injections seem to have helped my headaches.Which by the way, is a HUGE prayer answered!! Headaches are the pits which cause a decrease in energy and just an all around bad mood just because you don't feel good. Thank you for those who have prayed and thank you Jesus for healing me of the pain. Let me just interject here that I must give a hats off to women who choose Botox for whatever reason...those shots hurt so bad! I almost passed out from the pain and I would say that since last summer I have built quite a high tolerance for pain. Whew! I hope the one set of injections is all I need. I did not care for them at all, but with that said, I have no wrinkles in my forehead! ha! When you see me, I may have turned 30 but my forehead is not a day older than 25!! ;)

The question of how we know we are doing what God has planned or what is our own selfishness desires has been on my mind for the past several weeks. I have prayed for understanding and clarity and last week while in Sunday school, one of the questions was just this. Another member of the class spoke up and said that if it is God's will, the desire and the nagging feeling to go ahead with it (whatever it may be) will not go away. I know that I knew that, but there seemed to be some resolution hearing someone else say it. Today while cleaning out my desk here at work, I ran across a scratch piece of paper that I had written on some time ago. It reads: "Rejoice always, praying continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. God's will is for me to walk closely with Him. Learning from Him, growing close to Him, loving Him, praising Him, serving Him and others. In all that I do, I should strive to be just like Him (knowing that is impossible, I should strive to be as close as I can be). When others have needs, I want them to know they can trust in me to be there for them. To love them and to pray with them. When Jesus lays a task before me, I want to do all that I can to complete the chore before me with a grateful heart. With a servants heart. Even though I can't always see what it is that I am "supposed" to do, I need to know and believe in Him that He will never lead me astray and that He will hold my hand each step of the way. He is never really far at all, He is right here beside me. When the days get tough and it seems as though my sight is clouded, I must believe in Christ Jesus to see me through.

Please pray that clarity will be given and peace of mind will be restored. Decisions are tough and trying to get more than one person on board with the same idea sometimes seems almost impossible.God is so good and His blessings are bountiful. At this point in my life I really do strive to walk in harmony with God's plan. To know that I am doing what He has planned for me and that I am not taking advantage of or neglecting His goodness. I want to be the best mommy to Evan, a wife that James is proud of, a daughter who my parents are pleased with and know will take care of them, a supportive sister who my brother knows would bend over backwards for him, a granddaughter who shows her thankfulness and love, a niece and cousin who is there when needed-a friend, a daughter-in-law who can be counted on to do what is needed, a dependable employee and a friend who others know will love and pray over them. I love Jesus and I want that love to shine. I know that He loves me so.

Until next time...