Thursday, October 11, 2012

Ready for a change!

It is a very humbling experience when you come to the point where you know that there is time for a change. So many times we shy away from change as if it is a bad thing. Sometimes change is necessary. There are times when things are going great, but you just know that if you changed one thing about your life, it could be even better! I have found that when I begin to feel this way,  there needs to be a difference made in my spiritual walk with the Lord. My flesh may be being fed, but there is a deep hunger that only Jesus can satisfy. Just because I am a Christian does not mean that my cup does not get low sometimes. That is no fault of Jesus, I am the one who fails to pull in and yell, "Fill'er up Lord!" I fall short on my end!

Lately, I have struggled with feelings of accomplishment and pride (if I am being completely honest). It is very easy to get caught up in the very routine day in and day out kinds of things and forget to recognize that you are special and worth something to somebody. Get up, get dressed, get E to pre-school, go to work, go home during lunch only to clean something up, get back to work, go home, laundry, cook, clean some more, bathe E, then collapse and try to catch a breath before sliding into bed- only to toss and turn thinking of the things that need to be done the next day! Whew! That makes me tired just typing it out!! In the middle of all this, we women, need social networking time (aka girlfriends, girl time!).

Now, I know that I can't be the only woman who feels as though she is pulled here and there and still is trying to act like she has it all together! My friends crack me up at some of their comments. I actually had a friend tell me that I have it all together! WHAT?! I sometimes feel like I am running around barely covering any ground. How can I do all of this "stuff" and be the wife and mother that God has created me to be? Better yet, how can I allow all of this "stuff" to get to me and be the wife and mother that God has called me to be? That is where Satan finds me and tells me that I am too busy to be doing any good! Is he right? Am I too busy? Where does all of this running to and fro get me? Am I building the Kingdom of God?

God is working in my life and urging me to be a stronger wife. I want to be the kind of wife who her husband knows is praying for him, who he trusts with all of his heart, who he cherishes and longs to see and love. I want to be a servant kind of wife (now, wait, I did not say a servant...not to be run over, talked down to or taken advantage of, but to love with a servants heart-there is a difference). James and I have celebrated seven years of marriage and I can honestly say that there are some times that I wish I could go back and have a "do-over." There are some conversations that were had that could have been handled with different tones and, if we are being extremely honest, different volumes. I want to change my response when situations arise. I want to be able to handle them with an open mind and heart. I am ready for a change!

Work in my life Lord and create within me a fresh start! Help me to be the wife that you created me to be- a helpmate to my husband. A support for him. I know that without you I am nothing, Lord and can do nothing, but with you all things are possible. You can take this stubborn, strong-willed, "I can do anything!" attitude and mold me where you would have me be.

Until next time...

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I love my little man!

Evan is growing so much and learning more than I could have dreamed! He picks up on everything and is able to retain it. That can be scary sometimes!! I have learned that when he tells me it is ok for me to take some pics, I better take him out for a photo shoot. A couple of weekends ago after church, he said, "Mommy, let's go take some pictures!" Needless to say I jumped right on that! We had a fun time together, just the two of us (James was home sick), exploring Prattville together and making memories that I know I will cherish forever! Here are a few of our end results:

 He does and says the funniest things. I love it that he will be in another room and run to me, just to tell me that he loves me. I hope that never goes away!! He is attached to this teddy bear who he lovingly refers to as "Peanut Bear" and when asked why, "Well, because he's the color of peanut butter!" Why of course! 

I don't think this little guy will ever know the love and joy he has brought to my heart, my soul or our home. I can't imagine what life would be like without him! Who would have thought that 10 little fingers and toes, two little hands and feet or one great big smile could change a life so much?! I love him to the moon and back!!

Until next time...

Monday, October 1, 2012

Thumbs Up from Dr. V!!

I am just a little behind in my blogging. Sorry! I am sure you all know how busy life can become. Back in July I had to make a quick trip to Birmingham because I was having some headaches that seemed to want to linger. Dr. V was not certain that they were associated with the psedutumor, but would not rule it out until he saw me. After an exam, he said that he felt as though I was just having migraines. He decided to treat me with Botox. Now, I must interject here that I do not know how women do this for cosmetic purposes. It hurt SO badly!! I almost passed out from the pain and I must say that I have built up quite a tolerance for pain. It did take about 3-4 days before it really kicked in, but I am happy to announce that I have not had any headaches since. I guess the temporary pain was worth it in the long run!

James, Evan and I traveled to Birmingham to meet with Dr. Vaphiades, September 10, for my re-check appointment. We had a great visit. Dr. V came in, did an eye exam and said that my optic nerve swelling is down!! Praise the Lord! He was so optimistic and pleased with everything. He did ask that I try to lose about 8 more pounds, so please join me in prayer that I will be able to do that.

With this said, he told us that I did not need to come back until January! YEA!!! I am over the moon excited about this one! It is so nice to know that God heard our petitions and has proven once again that He is the almighty! We never know the reason behind the trials. We never understand the outcomes, but praise the Lord that He loves us enough to listen and respond.

He talked with us about having more children. He laid out a great game plan as to what to do when I become pregnant. I am praying now, that when the time comes that God sees fit to bless our family with an addition, that there will be no side effects. If the side effects come, spinal taps will have to be our go-to during the first trimester, as I can not be on meds and be pregnant. It is safe to be on the meds the remainder of the pregnancy, but I know that MY GOD is way bigger than pseudotumor and he can make is so that there are no side effects from the weight gain at all!! I am claiming this even now!! I ask that you would place this request on your prayer list as well! His time is perfect! I think James knowing that Dr. V has a plan, helps his mind rest easier. I know that he worries about me- I love him so much for that!

Thank you so much for the continued prayers and concerns. There is not a day that goes by that someone does not call, see me or shoot an email or text and ask how I am feeling. It is so nice to know that people care and love you! Thank you for loving me and my family!

I feel like over the past year (it has been one year this month since I received a diagnosis and plan) I have asked for lots of prayer. Please let me know how I may pray for you. Prayer is the best gift I can give and it is my pleasure to petition the Lord on your behalf! Oh, how he loves us so!

Prayer Requests:
1. That I will be able to lost the remaining 8 pounds as requested by Dr. V.
2. That the side effects will remain at bay.
3. That I will continue to have opportunities to share my story of how God has lifted me up.
4. Please continue to pray for the staff at the Callahan Eye Foundation. They are a great group of people who care about their patients.

Until next time...