Ready for a change!

It is a very humbling experience when you come to the point where you know that there is time for a change. So many times we shy away from change as if it is a bad thing. Sometimes change is necessary. There are times when things are going great, but you just know that if you changed one thing about your life, it could be even better! I have found that when I begin to feel this way,  there needs to be a difference made in my spiritual walk with the Lord. My flesh may be being fed, but there is a deep hunger that only Jesus can satisfy. Just because I am a Christian does not mean that my cup does not get low sometimes. That is no fault of Jesus, I am the one who fails to pull in and yell, "Fill'er up Lord!" I fall short on my end!

Lately, I have struggled with feelings of accomplishment and pride (if I am being completely honest). It is very easy to get caught up in the very routine day in and day out kinds of things and forget to recognize that you are special and worth something to somebody. Get up, get dressed, get E to pre-school, go to work, go home during lunch only to clean something up, get back to work, go home, laundry, cook, clean some more, bathe E, then collapse and try to catch a breath before sliding into bed- only to toss and turn thinking of the things that need to be done the next day! Whew! That makes me tired just typing it out!! In the middle of all this, we women, need social networking time (aka girlfriends, girl time!).

Now, I know that I can't be the only woman who feels as though she is pulled here and there and still is trying to act like she has it all together! My friends crack me up at some of their comments. I actually had a friend tell me that I have it all together! WHAT?! I sometimes feel like I am running around barely covering any ground. How can I do all of this "stuff" and be the wife and mother that God has created me to be? Better yet, how can I allow all of this "stuff" to get to me and be the wife and mother that God has called me to be? That is where Satan finds me and tells me that I am too busy to be doing any good! Is he right? Am I too busy? Where does all of this running to and fro get me? Am I building the Kingdom of God?

God is working in my life and urging me to be a stronger wife. I want to be the kind of wife who her husband knows is praying for him, who he trusts with all of his heart, who he cherishes and longs to see and love. I want to be a servant kind of wife (now, wait, I did not say a servant...not to be run over, talked down to or taken advantage of, but to love with a servants heart-there is a difference). James and I have celebrated seven years of marriage and I can honestly say that there are some times that I wish I could go back and have a "do-over." There are some conversations that were had that could have been handled with different tones and, if we are being extremely honest, different volumes. I want to change my response when situations arise. I want to be able to handle them with an open mind and heart. I am ready for a change!

Work in my life Lord and create within me a fresh start! Help me to be the wife that you created me to be- a helpmate to my husband. A support for him. I know that without you I am nothing, Lord and can do nothing, but with you all things are possible. You can take this stubborn, strong-willed, "I can do anything!" attitude and mold me where you would have me be.

Until next time...