So Much To Say...

My mind and heart are so full! Where do I begin...

We went on vacation with the family (LeVerts) back at the end of July and had the best time. Evan LOVES the beach and the pool (maybe the pool a little more than the beach), but at any rate, he is a great beach baby. He was such a trooper and just went along for whatever the family wanted to do. He actually cried a little when we told him we had to come back home. That's my boy!! In case you didn't know, the beach is my all time favorite place to be! I always enjoy spending time with the family...my favorite people in the world...maybe next year we can stay longer than a week!

We celebrated Evan's 3rd birthday on August 27, (His birthday is the 28th) with an alligator themed birthday party...where does he come up with these things?? It ended up being pretty cute, if I do say so myself! It is so hard to believe that my little boy is already 3! Where has the time gone? Sometimes I wish I could just bottle it all up and put it on a shelf and save for a rainy day...then I think of all the great things I would miss out on. I love it that he is able to talk to me now...not just 'yes' or 'no,' but he is able to have real conversations with me! It is the best. I love it that he is curious. He wants to know why things work and how. He wants to know about when he was a baby (he always says "I was sssoo tiny" and "I was ssooo cute!"), but most importantly, he wants to know about Jesus. He loves to talk about Jesus and I love that! I hope that he will always have that intensity about Him.

God is so good and He never ceases to amaze me. When trouble comes along, He is always there to pick you up and shine a ray of hope. There is always a silver lining to any situation. Back before we went to the beach, I went for a yearly eye exam (mainly so I could get more contacts!!ha), and the Dr. noticed that my optic nerves were swollen...both of them. She told me she wanted to recheck them in 6-8 weeks. She mentioned there could be something growing causing pressure on the nerves. We left it at that and said "See you in a couple of weeks." Over the next 6 weeks or so, I began to notice headaches, primarily in the mornings, but was unsure if they were "all in my head" or really something to worry about.



I went in for my check-up on September 9, and was told that one optic nerve looks better, but the other is about the same. Dr. Holman decided to order an MRI so that we could rule out a tumor. Wow, a tumor! Imagine hearing those words! I immediately thought about Evan. I have a three year old and a husband who need me (James would probably say he'd be just fine without me-but we all know differently!). After talking with James and deciding that we would rather keep this to ourselves and immediate family, I called my parents to fill them in on what was going on and what was next. I know they were concerned, but thank goodness they played it cool while talking with me! Per our request, they vowed to keep this to themselves and not share it with everyone, which I know was difficult for them because we are a praying family. There was just something about this that I wanted kept between us...hard to explain. No need for everyone to worry until there is something to worry about!



On September 15, I leave work for the MRI. On the way there, I call to make sure I know where I am going and come to find out they can't do the scan that day. I fall to pieces. This is the first time I have shed a tear over any of this. I had held myself together well and had confidence that all was fine until that very moment. In a need to hear that everything was going to be ok, I called Dr. Holman (my opthomologist-?sp) to hear her tell me just that. Sadly, she could not give me that reassurance, but she did tell me that she wanted the scan done that day so she would call me back. God had a plan! Dr. Holman called back within 2 minutes with a new location for my scan. She told me to be on my way and she would call me back as soon as she knew something.



God knew I needed the people at HealthScan in Montgomery, Alabama. They made me feel at ease and I can not tell you how many references to the Lord I hear while I was there. He is real in their lives and they call upon Him in times of need...I witnessed that first hand! I have no doubt I was where I needed to be! Praise the Lord for the other appointment falling through. I also am thankful for the meltdown I was able to have in the Ruby Tuesday parking lot. I needed to let myself cry...that does not show weakness...it shows surrender! I was giving it to the Lord at that very moment!



James was there for me to cry on and I am so thankful! He does not always know what to say (does anyone when faced with something like this?) but he knows I just need him to be there. He is my strong tower...even when he does not realize it!



Friday morning around 8:45 I got the call from Dr. Holman. Of course my cell did not want to function, so we had to play phone tag but when we were able to talk she assured me there was not growth! PRAISE THE LORD! She read the report so I could hear it the way it was reported. No words have ever sounded so good! She did tell me there was reason to believe there was abnormal brain fluid that needed to be looked at and there were a variety of reasons that could be there. She told me I needed to see a specialist at Retina Specialist of Alabama on Monday.



Monday morning (today) I go in to meet with Dr. Parma. He is great! He met with me, assessed my eyes, looked over the MRI and spoke with another physician. He came in, talked with me about what he felt was going on and answered my questions. He even took the time to re-examine my eyes to make sure there is no evidence of RP (an eye disease that my dad has).



So...my diagnosis is Psedotumor Cerebri. This is an increase in spinal fluid on the brain. I am not sure of the cause, that may be something that we never know, but I do know that it is not related to my epilepsy or the meds that I have to take for the epilepsy. We will go to meet with a neurosurgeon Thursday morning at 8am in Birmingham. I am sure we will hear more information than we ever dreamed we would need to know then.



My prayer through all of this (since July) has been that James and I (and the family) would be able to handle what news was delivered. I have said since this all began that we can't change the outcomes of the tests, we can only control how we handle it all. It is all going to be fine. Jesus has me in His hand. He is the ultimate healer and oh how he loves me! My prayer is for my family, my friends and all those I will encounter in the coming days, that they see Jesus through me and my unfailing faith in Him.



God is good...ALL the time...God is good!

Heather